I got this idea from a post from a Facebook friend who described the town of Independence, Oregon, as what Whoville would look like if the Whos celebrated the Fourth like they did Christmas. I hope you enjoy, even if it may be a day late.
Every Who Down in Whoville Liked July Fourth a lot...
But the Grinch,Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated The Fourth! The whole Patriot season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be he was tired of left vs. right.
It could be that he wished that the Brits won the fight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his 'Murican heart was too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on the Third, staunchly hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
All the red white and blue banners streaming the town.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath,
Was busy now, thawing their ribs, dogs, and beef..
"And they're flying their banners!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow’s The Fourth! It is practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers dastardly drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop this day from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would see all those parade floats, and other parade joys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
All the Bands and the Crowds with their NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would all gather to feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on Who-fruit pies, and barbecued beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand on their sidewalks, Francis Scott Key’s words crooning,
They'd light all their fireworks, with their shrieks and their booming!
The rockets would fly through mid’air and would BOOM!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
And the more the Grinch thought of the fireworks’ boom,
The more the Grinch thought, "This day must meet its doom!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop July Fourth from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick star-spangled hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy plan!"
"With this coat, beard and hat, I'll look like Uncle Sam!"
"Then I’ll ride in on an Eagle..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since eagles are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a Eagle, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some white thread,
Tied wings to his paws, and painted white his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle saddle he sat upon Max.
Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And his steed started down,
Toward the homes where the Whos lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Summer breeze filled the air.
All the Whos dreaming Patriot dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Sam hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Sammy could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Founding Father’s faces he saw, all hung in a row.
"These Fathers of Liberty are the first ones to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with his Communist smirk
Around the whole room, snatching e’ry Firework!
Spinners! And Aerials! Sparklers! and Snaps!
Firecrackers! Rockets and Candles And Caps!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-Fruit Pies! And marinated beast!
He cleaned out their coolers as quick as a wham.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-Spam!
Then he stuffed all the food up the flue with a gag.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I’ll take that Grand Ol’ Flag!"
And the Grinch grabbed the flag, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this Who ’Murican daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Uncle Sam, why,”
"Why take all our Stars and our Stripes, Uncle Sam? WHY?"
But, you know, like a Fascist, so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Uncle Sam lied,
"There's a star on this flag that is skewed on one side."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child, his lies got in her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when Cindy Lou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the flag up!
Then the last things he took were their lighters of fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their scrawled un-american drivel and ire..
And the one speck of food that he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... Town still sleeping like goats,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he stole the parade floats,
Piled on food and fireworks! The Flags from their Homes!
All their Marching Bands’ Instruments! All their drums and Trombones!
Three thousand feet up! To the top of the mountain!,
To destroy all he found in a freedom-fire fountain!
"Death to ‘Murican Pride!!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're all finding out now that The Fourth is not coming!"
"They're just waking up! They’ll be furious, to boot!!"
"They’ll go straight for their guns, but have nothing to shoot.”
“Or cry for Regulations, but their cries would be moot!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising up through the town.
Like Freedom itself, the sound rang all around.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded . . . Cheery!
Like American Pride, Freedom rang out so Merry!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, both leftists and the right,
Was singing! Without any parade floats in sight!
He HAD NOT stopped July Fourth from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came without Flags and It came without Bands!"
"It came without fireworks, or floats small or grand!!"
And he puzzled this fervor, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
" Independence Day is about our Declaration."
"not fireworks or grills, but the start of our Nation!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That his Patriot’s Heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He returned to the town in the bright morning light,
Bringing back the Parade! Bands and Fireworks and Meats!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch! Raised the Flag in the Street!
